Trust is a necessary requirement for any relationship to survive and to thrive. Unlike other traits in relationships, say communication, trust is a perception of one person. Communication requires at least two people to engage in conversation, regardless of the medium. Trust, however, is a one-way characteristic relying on the view that the trustor holds (one who gives trust) of the trustee (one who is trusted).
In the RACE for Trust, we use the acronym to describe the primary components of trust: reliability, authenticity, credibility, and empathy. While there are some instances when immediate trust is built in a crisis, the RACE for Trust is more like a marathon than a sprint. For example, judging whether someone is reliable means you need to interact with them over several occasions. Is their behavior consistent? Missing a rare deadline doesn’t impinge on a person’s reliability. But being late for meetings more often than not speaks to an issue of commitment, reliability, and trust.
I recently read an interesting book by Sahil Bloom, The Five Types of Wealth. Similar to the Purpose Dashboard we use in my upcoming book Project Me, Bloom describes five arenas for “wealth and success” in life: time, social, mental, physical, and financial. Social wealth is all about relationships. It’s really about trust.
As leaders, we inherently want our team members to trust us. Yet since trust is given not bought, our role is only to behave trustworthy and consistently. In the RACE for Trust, reliability and authenticity demonstrate our values while empathy shows we care about others. Credibility is the one arena of trust in which a trustee (receiver of trust) can potentially impact a trustor’s opinion (the one who extends trust) with external validations.
Credibility is based on experience, education, and performance. Sharing a credential or narrative of job experience (especially how you’ve resolved a complex issue) illustrates credibility.
However, our tone, our purpose, and our motivation determine whether we share our credentials to acquire public status or to earn trust.
Bloom defines public status as “bought status”. It’s mostly about showing off and extravagant competition. Earned status, on the other hand, is based on personal goals and internal pride. If you remember Marie Kondo’s advice on organizing, it gives you joy.
Most people sniff out the inauthenticity of leaders talking about a credential to display public status. It’s flashy and bragging. You notice hypocrisy when they talk up their credentials but talk down those of everyone else. Simply, you can’t trust them. (Empathy, humility, and shame are playing a role in the trust relationship here, too.)
Our purpose is part of our life design. Pride in a tough accomplishment is a good kind of pride. You absolutely should share earned credentials and achievements to demonstrate your skill and experience. Years ago, when I passed the Professional Engineering exam, I was proud to share the accomplishment with my work team, and they shared in the fruits of my labor.
But, when we hammer others over the head with our degrees and miscellaneous credentials, we’re just annoying. Seeking public status is a no-win game. There will always be someone who has more or better.
Follow-Up: Ask yourself if you are pursuing a goal for legitimate growth and self-improvement. Or are you trying to out-compete the next person? If the motivation for your achievement is to show off and brag about it, you might be seeking social status. That builds walls, not trust.
